Building a marriage that will go the distance is the goal of this marriage information. The intent of this material is to help a couple, explore significant matters together so as to provide a solid foundation for their relationship for the many seasons of your love.
This exploration is for none other than the couple seeking to grow their relationship. Much of this material is to encourage conversation for a couple marrying or already married.
I trust this will help to frame your discussion about what your relationship is and what you will craft it to be.
Pastor Dan Rusmisel
GOD'S GIFT
From scripture we understand that the home is ordained of God and that marriage is the most sacred of all human relationships. "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). It is for this purpose too that a woman leaves her mother and father and unites with her husband in creative activity.
It is the God-given privilege of those who have been attracted to each other by the power of love to create a home for the expression of that love. A home so established on love increases joy, comforts pain, and unites prayer. It is a place where two people join with God in creative activity. It is a place where a man and a woman express and seek each day the respect, the devotion, and the love of each other.
Paul in writing to the Corinthians tells us that love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends (1 Corinthians 13:4 & following).
If you will nurture in your hearts this kind of love towards one another, your marriage relationship will grow stronger and more beautiful each day and the home which you shall establish will abide in peace.
These words name hope that enables. They are too filled with anticipation and promise. They are often a part of the instruction given a man and a woman on their wedding day. But these words must be understood and applied to every aspect of the couple's married life for them to be of ongoing value. The article that follows develops and interprets these truths that empower married life.
FAMILIES
Families as a segment of society reflect the needs and crises of that society. No family is then an island which can escape the demands and pressures of that society around it. Yet we in this society live with the mistaken idea that all that needs to be done to redefine our world is to strengthen the family. This mistaken perception asks too much of the family and adds to the burden of family life without providing the necessary context, health, and well-being for enlightened family living.
God calls persons into a covenant community that informs the lifestyle and relationships of all those who live that call of God. In the scripture the direction of social life is set within the framework of the covenant community (Exodus 19-24). Without this larger fellowship, the family would find it very difficult to cope with the demands of everyday life.
In the New Testament, Jesus sets marriage in the context of the kingdom of God (Matthew 19),
which establishes the character and structure of marriage. The stability and vitality of marriage and family is the responsibility of the community of faith that defines and provides the primary nurture and care for people involved in these relationships. The health or lack of it in a marriage reflects the health or lack of it in the primary support group that the couple maintain contact with and find sustenance from as husband and wife, parent and child, brother and sister. These relationships inform and direct life as it is lived together within this support system.
The call to renewal and the strengthening of the family first comes to the faith community chosen to provide the nurture and care for the family. This community witnesses to the character of life. At the heart of this relationship is the God-given love for one another and ourselves. This love reflects an unwavering care and trust for one another and requires a continuing self-giving to the other. This love is exemplified by Christ who demonstrated such love for us.
Growth comes for the individual when one has the security of knowing unconditional love by another. When our relationship is bound by Christ, we feel accepted, loved and cared for. Love promotes growth. Jesus' life thrust was toward growth; he looked at people in terms of what they could be and were become. Growth experiences are needed today in our inner lives, our marriages, our churches, and our world. Jesus said his purpose in coming was to enable us to find life "in all its fullness." (John 10:10 NEB)
Our relationships can be authentic only when we honestly and openly share with one another our true thoughts and feelings. We have been called to speak the truth in love. There is a risk in personal honesty and in openly facing our faults and feelings; when we begin to see and acknowledge our own shortcoming, we similarly become more accepting to others. At this point, we can truly begin a relationship free from barriers of mistrust and deception. Our relationship can then be rooted in the wholeness and perfection that Christ has brought to us.
We become free by knowing that Christ is alive within us and by choosing and receiving this bond of togetherness. For the Christian, authentic relationship with others has its roots in Christ. True sovereignty comes in the recognition of our relationship to God and our interdependence on each other. Freedom is accepting who we are, and whose we are in Christ. We must acknowledge that we are called not to be perfect, but to strive for Christ like perfection in our relationships. At the same time, we must know that God's total and unconditional care and love for us is ever present. Only as we accept this gift of love can we truly pass it on to those around us. As individuals, as partners in marriage and as a community of believers once rooted in Christ, we can serve one another and God.
For freedom, Christ has set us free; stand fast, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery (Gal. 5:1). When we recognize this dimension of life, we will avoid another pitfall, namely, retreating from the family or marriage which experiences crisis. If we truly follow the model of Jesus, the one who gives to the other in time of need, we will not back away from those who experience alienation in marriage or family life. Tragically the church can reinforces the feeling of rejection that families experience in crisis by separating itself from those who already feel hurt. Or the congregation and its representatives might come in at the last moment to proclaim all participants guilty of sin, again reinforcing the sense of alienation and loss that persons have in crisis. Unless we have been with one another in the fullness of relationship, we are in compromised position to support or confront at a time of difficulty. The faith community is called by God to provide the context of nurture for personal and family life. Without the day-by-day caring for one another we will not be able to minister to one another in times of crisis in marriage.
We affirm that all creation is good. We further affirm that human beings have been created in the image of God. Therefore, we have the capacity to live in growing and meaningful relationships with others and with God. To do so is to fulfill the purpose of our creation. To have been created male and female with possibilities for creative union is a precious gift from God.
